Getting the paperwork now, saving the family trip for later

This weekend we’re buying a plane ticket for a place we already live.

Seriously. We’ll fly 50 minutes from Iloilo City to Manila, binge on Shake Shack and street food, then stand in line for hours at the U.S. Embassy so my wife can get a visa we’re 99 percent sure we won’t use this year.

Why pay for a stamp we’re too scared to use? Because the headlines keep flashing the same nightmare: families split in airport back rooms, moms grilled for hours, kids detained over a paperwork typo. I still have to make the occasional solo run to the States for business; I refuse to roll those dice with my wife and our autistic son in tow.

So we’ll treat Manila like a mini‑honeymoon — hand‑holding, street food, zero kid chaos — and leave with Plan B glued into her passport. Plan A is to keep our family, and our vacation money, right here in Asia.

Why We Press Pause on a Family Trip

I wrote about it the other day:

Bottom line, we’re scared. I have no problem traveling to my home, but it seem just a little too much to put my wife and kids through.

It’s the:

• Border stress. Stories of travelers held for hours (or days) make my wife anxious and could trigger a meltdown for our autistic son.
• Price shock. Airfare, rental cars, and hotel rooms in the U.S. are still up 20–30 percent compared with 2019 averages. Our peso goes further in Tokyo or Seoul.
• Politics. The news cycle feels like a shouting match. We want our first big trip as a family to feel like a vacation, not a lesson in polarization.

So for now, the visa is Plan B, stored and ready. Plan A is to keep exploring Asia.

America’s $200 B Tourism Hole

Before COVID, overseas visitors spent about $233 billion a year inside the United States (NTTO, 2019). In 2023 that number was still down almost $70 billion, and trade groups say the gap since 2020 adds up to roughly $200 billion in lost revenue.

Fewer tourists mean empty hotel rooms, slow restaurant nights, and smaller tips for rideshare drivers.

Why the gap? Airfare costs, visa wait times, and yes, border fear. Travel agents call it the “soft freeze.” Families delay, then pick easier destinations.

Where Our Tourist Dollars Will Go Instead

We have a bucket list of desinations we want to visit: Estonia, Switzerland, Norway, Spain, but this year, since the USA is off the list, we will visit:

• Japan. Fast trains, spotless streets, and child‑friendly everything. A week in Nara costs less than four days in Los Angeles.
• South Korea. Street food, hiking trails, and culture that blends old and new. Visa‑free for Filipinos with certain travel histories.
• Singapore. Safe, English‑speaking, and a theme park island the kids will love.

The cash we would have spent on American theme‑park tickets and rental SUVs will pay for sushi lessons, Hanbok rentals, and nights under Marina Bay lights.

Moving to the U.S.? Also on Hold

We once pictured settling in Arizona near my parents. My parents are almost 83. My kids are hitting the mid 30s. I want to be closer to them and my wife and kids want to know that side of the family.

It’s been difficult living on two continents, and it would be nice if I could introduce my family to the place I grew up.

But housing prices and healthcare bills flipped that dream on its back.

• Median U.S. home price: $420k (NAR, 2024).
• Median home in Iloilo City: Under $100k for a four‑bedroom house on land.
• Family health insurance in the U.S.: Over $24k a year (KFF). Here? PhilHealth plus a private plan runs under $3k. Plus, its so cheap that most things can be paid out of pocket.

Add the political noise, and the “big move” slides to the bottom of the whiteboard.

What We’ll Do in Manila Instead

• Chinatown lunch. Dumplings in Binondo where every plate costs less than a U.S. latte.
• Mall of Asia sunset. Walk the bay, let the kids ride the gigantic ferris wheel next time. This time, it’s just me and my bride.
• Bookstore date. Pick up travel guides for Japan, Korea, and Singapore.
• Quiet hotel breakfast. First one without spilled juice in months.

The embassy visit is just one errand on a mini‑vacation that reminds us why we love staying local.

Keeping the Door Open

I’m not anti‑America. Far from it. I love my home country. My parents are there, my clients are there, and I still cry when I see the trees change color in New England.

We’re just realistic.

• If border rules calm down and costs level off, we’ll dust off the suitcases.
• If things stay bumpy, the visa will sit unused, like an umbrella waiting for rain.

Either way, we have options, and options feel better than fear.

Takeaways for Other Families

If your crew is juggling the same mix of wanderlust and worry, here’s what our trial‑run has taught us.

Start the visa process even if you’re not packing yet. Paperwork moves slower than wanderlust; having a stamp in the passport keeps the door cracked for later. While you wait, run the math on a backup itinerary.

We priced one week in Los Angeles against two weeks split between Nara and Seoul, and the Asian option still came in cheaper, even after sushi classes and bullet‑train tickets.

Don’t rely on travel blogs written before the pandemic. Scroll fresh threads, Facebook groups, and Reddit subs where people post real‑time border stories; yesterday’s advice can get you detained today.

And keep the conversation open at home. The moment we let the kids weigh in, fear shrank to a size we could all carry.

Final Thought

We’ll stand in line at the embassy, smile for the camera, and maybe celebrate with halo‑halo afterward. But when the officer asks, “So, when do you plan to travel?” we’ll answer truthfully:

“We’re not sure yet. We’re keeping our options open.”

Until the path feels clear, our tourist pesos will keep exploring this side of the Pacific, and our America dream will wait its turn.

So, first a solo trip to the USA for me for business. Then Singapore, Japan, and Korea.
If the USA still isn’t an option for next year, I’m thinking Spain and Europe.

Always keep your options open.